My Experience with Autism

It’s been four years since I am working and each day I see a different side, expression and uniqueness about children suffering from Autism.

In recent days Autism has been diagnosed rapidly and rampantly. The cause for this is not known but could be because of awareness, growing infrastructure (which is quite underdeveloped yet), media attention, autism hitting the elite class and many such related reasons…

I frequently encountered a question from parents, what is Autism all about?

I would describe Autism as an inability to maintain age appropriate social interactions, poor eye contact, poor body language, lack of display of affection and related emotions, speech pathology or difficulties, repetitive patterns in behavior and speech, lack of imaginary play, obsessive-compulsive patters in behavior and rituals, preoccupation with a specific object or a part and apparent insensitivity to pain or fear.

            It surfaces before three years of age. In my personal work experience, I have seen more number of boys being affected than girls.

            I have experienced that it takes a lot of effort, and time to establish a rapport with these children. But I sincerely believe in that if one puts in earnest, focused, child specific efforts then one can see magical results and improvements.

            Early intervention is a MUST. Interventions used in treatment are usually diverse and works for some, while doesn’t work for others. Some of the interventions available are Speech therapy, intensive occupational therapy, sensory integration therapy, behavioral therapy; Arts based therapy, music therapy, pet therapy, medicines, and remedial education. The earlier is the intervention the better is the prognosis (Hope).

            Another important issue is Acceptance of the problem and moving towards solutions than denial amongst parents of children suffering from Autism. It is a heart shattering truth, extremely difficult to accept and to understand the needs of a special child. In my personal work experience I have encountered the best results with parents who have accepted and willing to challenge the situation than parents who are heavily in denial and in illusion that there is nothing wrong with their child, it’s just a delay!

I sincerely believe in parents as the most important part of any therapy success as the child is with the parent for maximum number of hours and in therapy/school for only few hours a day. Therapy can facilitate growth but the vehicle to it lies with healthy parenting.

Parents of special children need to be more alert, understanding of individual needs, accept that usual methodologies may not work, tolerance, orientation about the problem, its causes and effective treatment, firm yet nourishing parenting, sensitivity and above all faith to see improvement and functional independence in their children.

I see these children as different, great potential to achieve things in their reach and possibilities, darlings, and cute of bundle of joy filled with innocence…

I can write endlessly about it but I will end the article for now and continue with specific behaviors and parenting in my next article…

This is an initiation from my end to spread awareness about Autism and encourage parents and co workers for early and accurate diagnosis and treatment.

Happiness :-)

I have been recently pondering over what is Happiness?

I impatiently googled and was flooded with quotes, sayings and write ups. I tried reading self help books but it didn’t quench my thirst. I felt as if something was Missing. Nothing seemed perfect!!!!

Is happiness really in buying a Ferrari, a villa in the heart of the city or having a Swiss bank account?

Then I looked inward and thought, why not think over what is happiness to me….

Happiness is the excitement you feel when you buy something insignificant like a soft toy or a fridge magnet and still feel the joy you would feel if you brought an expensive diamond ring.

It is flipping through childhood snaps and reliving each moment again.

It is going for a stroll and feeling the wind romance your face, when walk to the end of Nariman point and feel nothing could have been more serene and blissful when the water splashes over you and all that you can see is endless possibilities..

Happiness is in those moments when you shop for a dozen of things and then get excited like a child to show all, to your near and dear ones..

Happiness is above all materialistic things, when I see my student in school improve even point one percent, it is in the Eyes of those parents whom I feel have Courage of Steel and a Heart of Iron. Happiness is when my student in school feels secure with me, when they come to me for absolutely nothing, just smile and go back…

Happiness to me is like a flowing stream…there are pebbles and obstructions on the way but it goes on and ultimately unites with the mighty river. I learn from this that when you share your happiness it grows Bigger just like the stream unites with the river.

            Happiness plays Peek a boo with you… You try to find it endlessly at times and other times it is right within you…

There will be times when we are flooded with dilemmas and question marks, when life seems to be getting tough, when sharing your secrets and memories can be misused, when love is taken for granted and forgotten, when priorities change but in this moment of downhill there is one small inner voice which pops up and says “ALL IS WELL and ALL WILL BE WELLJ”

            It is that Inner Strength which gives you Hope to relive life again with the same Enthusiasm, Zest, Free Spirit you once had. To give life all that you have with zero expectations in return, it is that Hope that gives you the Courage to Stand against odds even if you are Alone and feel Victory despite of the results you get…

            Happiness is in the belief that a day will come when the one you Love the most will understand your Worth, Innocence, Intentions, Feelings, Pain and Sacrifices…

            Happiness to me is believing in YOURSELF, in your Capabilities, in Respecting your self and your Life, in achieving your best Potential and Never say Never!!!!

I would sum it in a quote by Leo C. Rosten: “I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be "happy." I think the purpose of life is to be Useful, to be Responsible, to be Compassionate. It is, above all, to matter and to count, to Stand for something, to have made some Difference that you Lived at all.”

                                                                                    Aditi Chaudhary

“Impart Education” or “Sell Education”

The only thing that motivated me to write this article was seeing the Over Commercialized and bleak state of Indian Education.

We are in a democracy where “A child has the Right to Education”. The government propagates free and fair education for every child. But looking at the current scenario, I see education a lofty dream for many middle class families who would wish to provide decent primary and secondary education to their children.

Now sending a child to school (actually not even a school, a play school or pre primary) has become more expensive than sending the child to finish his or her graduation.

My brother met his old school friend recently and asked him where his child studied, so he said that he was in xyz school but now they shifted him because the fees was UNAFFORDABLE. The next question that my brother asked him was, which standard was he in? And the reply was LOWER KG.

It sounds sad but it is the truth. Lower kindergarten school fees is now almost a lakh a year exclusive of other costs that would be required to send the child to school.

The new concept of IB (International Board or I would say “International Bussiness”) school and many SSC and ICSE schools are getting converted into an IB school, leaves a heavy hit on the wallet of a common man. IB schools charge a minimum of 3 to 4 lakhs a year.

Looking at the above mentioned trend, very soon many more schools would convert into an IB school and current school fees would reach sky high. So sending a child to school means you surely have to hit the JACKPOT.

It’s become like a trend that the higher the school fees the better the school is….

I wonder in what sense?????

So forget dreaming about sending children to big universities, making them finish Secondary School will also be an achievement.

The cap line for government advertisements should now be changed from “Aao siksha ke taraf kadam badaya” to “Aao siksha se Paise banao”..lolllllll

Jokes apart, it is very disheartening to see this over commercialized setup that has been initiated and increasing by the spur of the hour. Looking at the present condition, an average working Indian couple should think twice before having a child. Since the kind of pressure that comes on the parents and later upon the child is very stressful and Identity shaking.

At the end of the day what we look for from a Good School is not how Expensive and “Hep” it is, but whether it is giving the right structure to the child to achieve his/her true capability. A good school according to me would be one which gives an all round development to the child, encourages sports, co curricular activities, creative thinking compared to rote memorization, exploring subjects rather than mugging up lessons and a school which helps the child to be connected with the roots of Education. A good school doesn’t necessarily mean AC classrooms and buses, excellent state of the art infrastructure, elaborative study patterns, Laptops and designer uniforms.

We are looking for a school that provides equal opportunity to all students and which is sensitive to each child’s needs and level of functioning.

Let us strive to achieve a school environment where to get admission in a school a 3 year old doesn’t have to attend “tuitions” at that tender age and rob the child of his or her precious childhood.

Our aim should be Fair and Right Education for every child and not Glamorous and Expensive Education for some.

Best Wishes to current and prospective parents and children

Aditi Chaudhary

My Second Article Innocence

Innocence

I was reading a book and came across the quote “As a child we can’t wait to grow up however when we grow up we realize that Skinned Knees heal faster than Broken Hearts”. As a child we live in our own happy world, surrounded by butterflies and tooth fairies. That motivated me to write about Innocence…..

What is Innocence?

For me, Innocence is a new born baby’s smile, his/her yawning, it is to watch someone smile while he/she is asleep, it is those childhood games which had no meaning but yet were so much of fun, and it’s seen in the laughter and giggles over trivial fights and issues.

Innocence is when I see my 3.5 year old niece tell her mom after seeing her appreciate some gymnastic stunt over the television that even ‘I Can Do It’, say WOW to me also!!

Innocence is when my kid in school comes to me and says Titu for Tissue, when another child realizes that I have got hurt and does ‘walli walli (patting)’, I wonder why he is doing that until I realize it is because I have got hurt and he is trying to comfort me. Innocence is seen when even though they can’t speak, they very well communicate every emotion be it love, need, jealousy, complaints, hurt, pain, happiness. Innocence is when I see their eyes filled with naughtiness and they are all set to take me for a ride.

Childhood is innocence, where one only cares about toys, clothes, accessories, colors, My Mummy, My Papa and My Best Friend, those endless demands for chocolates, cakes and ice creams, where one can spend hours just doing nothing and still feel so great about it, where one doesn’t have to worry about tomorrow or where one is not burdened/faced with endless obligations, diplomacy, dishonesty, need to survive, competition, fake outer appearance or betrayal.

When we grow older we realize that how one is transferred from a Dream world to the Real world. You realize that if you need to survive you need to know the tricks of the trade, where speaking the truth can be disastrous. It’s the transformation that makes you feel that speaking your heart out or being frank can lead you into a lot of trouble..

Adulthood shows you aspirations, dreams, possessions, love, new beginnings/endings, independence, autonomy, responsibility. It all seems rosy at some point and at another point superficial and materialistic. It’s transient, at one point you can feel heaven and the other point hell.

Then comes ageing and you realize that you are slowly becoming a child again. You wish to do all that you did as a child. Where having an “ice golla” on the road gives you immense pleasure, where materialistic accomplishments become insignificant and small pleasures become meaningful again.

Life to me looks like a circle. You start being a child full of exuberance, energy, and innocence then comes a phase where you are driven by needs and wants, and you end being a child again.

To end I would add that let us realize the child within us which tends to get lost in the hustle-bustle of life. Let us strive to realize the child within us filled with innocence and love for the small things in life that give happiness while life throws curve balls at you.

Aditi Chaudhary